I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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