oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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