dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
