you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
