R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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