butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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