It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
