What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize