take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
