I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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