you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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