His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
