I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize