You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
