Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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