I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
