Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
