This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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