i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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