Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
