why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
