my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
