youre lurking in front of me
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
