dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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