Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
