Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
