We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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