Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
