But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
