she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You may now shotgun with the bride
i think my cat just said my name.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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