Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
