There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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