There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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