hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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