Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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