if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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