I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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