I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
