Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize