At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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