Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
