shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
