We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
