i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
