think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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