maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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