yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
