well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
