Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
