my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
