I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
