She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The air taste purple.
Randomize
