I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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