So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
where are you?
Hypothermia
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
