Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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