He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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