The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
