wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
