u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
