I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
