Christians are straight up FREAKS
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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