hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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