pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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