im holly from the hills drunk
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
