escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
