I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
