I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
