I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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