Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
