how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
