Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
